You might be a Tea Party member IF . . .

..
1) You're lucky enough to have a job with a 40-hour work week, a paid vacation, and some kind of company-provided healthcare . . . but you're strongly anti-union because those union commies are one of the reasons why America is now in the toilet.

2) You strongly support the First Amendment and its guarantee of religious freedom to all, but you strongly oppose the Muslim community having the right to build an Islamic Community Center in Manhattan.  (And anyone thinking the proposed site of the Community Center was at Ground Zero - please go back to your daily Rush Limbaugh fest).

3) You believe George W. Bush was a devout Christian who was obviously on a mission from God, but any president who spends twenty years going to the same Trinity United Church in Chicago must be a Muslim and was probably born in another country.

4) You believe when a Republican governor (Mitt Romney) creates a healthcare package with an individual mandate for everyone in his state (Massachusetts), that's a good idea.  But when a Democratic president does it, suddenly it's an attempt to inject Socialism into America.

5) You believe in putting American jobs first except when President Obama rescues 1.5 million GM and Chrysler autoworker jobs because (again) that was Socialism.

6) You actually think Socialism and Communism are one and the same thing.

7) When the new 112th Congress was sworn in, you swooned as they promised to focus on Jobs, Jobs, Jobs!!!   But when they pivoted 180 degrees and went after NPR, Planned Parenthood, and gay rights, you cheered like a Chicago Cubs fan seeing them winning the World Series.

8) You accuse President Obama of raising your taxes to the highest point ever even though they're lower today than at any time since 1950.

9) You actually believe the wealthiest Americans are THE job creators.  Well, you're probably right, and it doesnt bother you that all the workers in those new job positions are located in India, China and Malaysia, doing the jobs that our parents and co-workers once did.

10) You believe corporations are deserving of the same rights as the rest of us . . . just not the same obligations such as paying personal income taxes free of corporate loopholes, or hard jail time for criminal behavior and tax evasion.  In these matters, corporations are deserving of special rights.


11) You still believe Climate Change is a myth, and the recent record highs, lows, floods and droughts around the world coinciding with climate scientists' predictions are all an amazing coincidence.  Oh, and Al Gore is a big, fat TURD who is just getting rich off all this Climate Change hysteria caused by scientists looking for government grant money.

12) You believe when George W. Bush took the national debt from $5 trillion to $11 trillion, it was necessary for him to do so to keep America safe.  But when Barack Obama added to it by trying to rescue the country from a second Great Depression, he was deliberately trying to destroy America in preparation for the New World Order.

13) You believe America is a God-fearing country, and that the Almighty protects those who believe just as you do.  But its never crossed your mind that the majority of tornados, hurricanes and floods all occur in the Bible Belt of this country.

14) You believe that no matter who is in the White House, the office, if not the man himself, is deserving of your respect. However, there is an exception to this rule: if his middle name sounds Muslim and he's not at least as white-looking as Mariah Carey.

15) You're so enthusiastic about demonstrating your Second Amendment rights that you can think of no finer place to brandish your pistol in public than at a presidential rally or the church parking lot after Sunday School.